


Words Left Unsaid

by smilingdestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Burgers - Freeform, Deanial, Love Confessions, M/M, Rutting, Sexual Tension, Torture, human cas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-07 23:17:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11633997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smilingdestiel/pseuds/smilingdestiel
Summary: Dean realizes his feelings for Cas but before he can man up, it's too late.





	1. The Realization

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoy! This work has a couple of chapters that I'm still working on currently.  
> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!!!

Castiel was unbearably and undoubtedly human. He personally hated it. He felt the weakest he's ever felt, and that's saying something with all of the wrong he's done, and how many times he's been tortured. But this is a different pain. It made Castiel feel small and irrelevant. He felt as if he couldn't help the Winchester's anymore, as if he was of no use.  
And of course the weakness of changing from a celestial being to a human. Not that humans were weak, of course not, he had learned that they weren't from the Winchesters. But, being an angel and then a human who has headaches and fevers and has to brush their teeth, eat, hydrate, take showers, sleep, etc., it was honestly pretty tiring.   
Also the new effect of having sexual attraction. Yes, he had had sexual attraction while being an angel but he could bury it, hide it. But now being a human, it was something that was impossible to shove away. And even worse that his sexual attraction was to Dean, his best friend, who probably didn't even feel the same. He tried to have the least amount of physical contact with Dean, and made sure to stop walking in on Dean shirtless. Yes, he admitted that he was attracted to Dean. Not just physically of course though. He loved Dean. But that didn't change the fact that he was pretty sure that Dean did not feel the same way. So he got used to shoving his feelings down, and made his love for Dean one of them, although at some points it was pretty hard to ignore. He survived.  
"I found a case," Sam said across the table from Cas, as he read a book. They were in the library, as usual, doing research on where Metatron would have taken Cas' grace, and looking for more jobs to distract them from the truth: they probably wouldn't be able to find Cas' grace, soon or at all. None of them admitted that truth, and Dean didn't even think it.  
"A ghost, killing middle aged men," Sam's brows came together in the middle of his forehead. "Don't know much besides that, so we'll have to go investigate." Cas nodded in understanding, looking to his right at Dean. He was staring at the table in concentration, clearly not paying attention to what Sam had said. His brow was connected in thought, his lips in a fine line. His freckles were bright against his cheeks, and Cas desperately wanted to count them.  
"Dean?" Cas interrupted his own thoughts. Dean looked up quickly, blushing, his freckles hiding in the tint behind his blushing. He shifted uncomfortably, looking at Cas as his face relaxed into a slight smile. "Are you okay?"  
"Yeah, man. I'm good, just kinda tired and thinking hard about your grace," Dean lied. He didn't want to tell Cas what he was really overthinking about. He couldn't do that, it could ruin their friendship. So, he kept it to himself. "I'm going to go cook up some burgers for dinner, okay?"  
Sam hummed appreciatively, not making eye contact as he did more research on the case.  
Cas looked back up to Dean and smiled.  
"Sounds delicious." Dean returned the smile and left quickly.   
Cas knew that Dean had lied about being tired. He just didn't know why. There was something clearly on Dean's mind, something that was bothering him, but Cas wasn't sure what that was.  
Cas excused himself from the library and headed towards the kitchen. Dean stood in front of the stove, cooking the burgers on large pans. He had his back faced to Cas, as he flipped the burgers with a spatula. His frame looked tense, stressed. Cas walked up next to Dean, trying not to scare him.   
"Hey, Cas," Dean didn't take his eyes off of the burgers and seemed to tense up even more than he already was before.  
"Hello, Dean. What's wrong?" Cas blurted. He wasn't going to ask Dean something stupid like 'are you okay?' because he could already tell he wasn't.  
"What do ya mean? I'm just peachy," Dean forced a smile, trying to shove away his own thoughts that haunted him. Cas took a step closer, knowing that this is the time where Dean reminds him of personal space, but Cas doesn't care. Something is up with Dean and he needs to know what it is.  
"Dean." Cas commanded in a low, gravelly voice. Damn that voice. That voice did things to Dean that he did not want to admit.  
"Haven't really been able to sleep," Dean confessed. That is true, he hasn't been able to sleep with all of the thinking he's been doing lately. Although, it isn't the full truth, it is one part of some truth, and Cas can tell it's true.  
"Why?" Cas tilted his head to one side like he always does. He's only inches from Dean, and he's surprised Dean hasn't said something about it yet.   
"Just about your grace and Metatron and stuff," Dean looked back to the burgers seeing that there were done. He turned off the stove and reached over Cas to grab the plate for the burgers, clearly not thinking it through when he found Cas' face a couple inches from his. Cas licked his lips and Dean's eyes followed the movement. Dean's breath haltered, as he looked back up to Cas and saw that his eyes were dilated.  
Their stares were interrupted by a voice at the doorway of the kitchen.  
"Burgers done?" Sam asked as he stared down at the book in his hand, not noticing what he had just interrupted. Dean quickly grabbed the plate from behind Cas.  
"Cas, can you give me the buns?" Shit, that came out wrong. Sam chuckled as he sat down at the table, and Cas handed the hamburger buns to Dean. Dean assembled the burgers and handed them out. They are in silence, and Dean felt extremely anxious as his leg jumped up and down. He needed to be alone, to think alone, so he quickly ate, washed his plate, and left the kitchen without looking back.  
"What's up with him?" Sam asked, finally looking up from his book.  
"Not sure," Cas lied, staring at his burger.  
Sam ate in silence, as Cas' thoughts left him distracted from his burger and everything around him.


	2. The Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Free Will goes on a ghost hunt, just to find out there is more than ghosts there. Cas gets hurt badly, and Dean blames himself, unsure if Cas will survive.

Dean had stayed in his room for the rest of the night, finally falling asleep a little after 3am. He woke up at 8am, trying to get rid of the thoughts that clawed at his brain. He took a shower, brushed his teeth, and headed to the kitchen for coffee. He grabbed a mug, as Sam spoke from the kitchen table.  
"I think we should head to that ghost case that I was talking about. It's only about 2 hours away, and we've got nothing better to do today," Sam suggested as Dean sat across from him and took a sip of his coffee. He nodded; working a case seemed like a good distraction from all of his thoughts.  
Cas walked into the kitchen clawing at his eyes as he yawned, heading towards the coffee. He wore a robe and boxers, and Dean couldn't help it when his jaw dropped at the sight. When Cas finally grabbed his coffee and turned around to look Dean dead in the eye, he turned back to Sam.  
"Sounds like a plan, let's head out soon," he said before standing up and scurrying out of the kitchen, leaving his coffee much forgotten about.  
-  
Three hours later, they arrived to the case, and Dean was looking in the trunk of the Impala to grab the supplies and weapons that he needed. Sam waited in the car on a phone call with Bobby when Cas came up to Dean.  
"Heya, Cas," Dean greeted him, handing him a gun. Dean didn't look at Cas, just kept his eyes focused on the weapons he was grabbing.  
"Dean, I think we need to talk," Cas said, lowering his head as he tried to get Dean to look at him but it didn't work. Dean turned his head to the right, pretending to look at more weapons. Cas knew what he was doing, and it frustrated him. Why was Dean being so difficult?  
"About?" Dean said, finally looking up at Cas to smile innocently, looking away quickly as he tried to play it off as if nothing had happened. Dean was sweating, his palms started to shake as he shoved them into his pockets, looking back to the trunk of the Impala. He tried to act cool, but his body wasn't cooperating.  
"About what happened in the kitchen. Before Sam came in," Cas' voice didn't even stutter, and he didn't seem to be nervous. Of course he didn't, the nerdy angel didn't fully understand human interactions, and he felt as if this was no big deal. Nothing had happened in the kitchen, anyway, so Dean told himself there was no reason to be nervous.  
"Was nothing," Dean lied, looking up to Cas and smiling, flashing his bright smile. "I got in your personal space and I'm sorry about that. Won't happen again." He returned his gaze to the trunk of the car, grabbing the last of the weapons that he needed, and shut the trunk closed.  
"Dean-" Cas started but was cut off my Sam coming out of the car.  
"We ready?" Sam asked, and Dean nodded, not looking at Cas as they made their way towards the side door of the abandoned building.  
Dean opened it, holding his gun carefully in front of him. Cas and Sam soon followed behind him, their guns held in front of them as well. Dean ticked a hand at them to show them to separate and head to different rooms, so that's what they did. Dean's room seemed clear, as he headed out, as Sam soon joined him, shaking his head as their was nothing in the room he had been in. They looked in other rooms, also finding nothing.  
"Dean, Sam!" Cas grunted loudly in pain, as Dean realized he had not seen Cas come out from the room he had been looking in. Dean and Sam quickly ran out of the rooms they had been searching, and headed to the room Cas was in. Cas laid on the floor, blood spilling out of his mouth, as two ghosts stood atop of him, holding him down. Several sigils were drawn on the walls, clearly turning off Cas' angelic powers from the stolen grace as he laid there, looking more human than ever. His chest rose as he coughed more blood up, and Dean quickly ran to the door, making it into the room just in time before it was shut behind him, trapping Sam out of the room. That left just Dean, Cas, and two ghosts in a room together. Great.  
Before Dean had time to do anything, a demon appeared in the room, standing right in front of Dean.  
"Don't bother, I'm controlling them," the demon said as she turned around to see Cas trying to fight them off, but they just held him to the ground, not even torturing him. Dean had to admit that the demon's vessel was beautiful. Blonde hair, green eyes, and a curvy figure. But Dean couldn't think about that. She was possessed, and he needed to save Cas. That was the goal here.  
"Hi, I'm Ruth. I bet you already know what I am though," she sighed, her eyes turning coal black, and she smiled sinisterly.  
"See, Ruth, I couldn't give less of a shit who or what you are, seen as you three are the ones that won't be leaving this room."  
Ruth frowned sadly, and with the lift of her hand, he was flown to the wall, his head banging harshly, making his head spin. She slowly and silently walked up to Dean, her body just an inch from Dean's. He attempted to move, but realized he was stuck in place.  
"You see, Dean-o, we're gonna kill you and your buddy Castiel right here in this room," she whispered in his ear, rolling her hips against Dean's, making him unconsciously groan. Shit, a demon was rutting against him, and his body was reacting with Cas in the room.  
"There's just one thing I would like to know first. Give me that information, and maybe my friends won't kill your brother. If you don't comply, we'll kill Sammy and Castiel right in front of you, and then kill you," Ruth offered, whispering against his ear, licking the shell of it experimentally, gaining a light moan from Dean as he tried to suppress it.  
"Where's Castiel's grace?" Ruth asked, backing away from him, and looking him in the eyes.  
"What would you want with Cas' grace?" He asked, his brow furrowing in confusion. She rolled her eyes, bringing her hands to the side to snap her fingers. At that movement, the ghosts yanked Cas off of the ground by his shirt, throwing him against the opposite wall, and punching him in the stomach as more blood spilled out of his mouth. Cas coughed out the blood, struggling to breathe.  
"That didn't sound like an answer to me," Ruth said, grabbing the dangling gun from Dean's hand, pointing it at his leg. "I already told you that you're going to die today. Maybe not yet, but if I have to torture the truth out of you, so be it."  
"Go to hell," Dean mustered out, before a gunshot rang out, and pain spread in his thigh. He grunted loudly in pain, gritting his teeth, frustrated that he couldn't move and couldn't help Cas. He panted and grunted as blood dripped out of the wound, coloring his jeans a dark red. Dean looked back to Cas, as they made eye contact. Cas wasn't coughing up blood anymore, but some blood still drizzled out of his mouth. A bruise blossomed around his right eye, and he looked at Dean in affirmation, telling him that he could tell her the truth about his grace. Dean looked at him in disbelief. The demon sure as hell wouldn't believe him, and why would Cas let him? He surely hadn't given up on finding his own grace - had he? Ruth snapped her fingers again, as one of the ghosts picked up the fallen angel blade from the ground, and stabbed Cas in the stomach.  
Dean looked at Cas, screaming a loud, "No!". Cas smiled reassuringly to Dean, as Ruth spoke to Dean about something irrelevant as Dean watched his best friend's eyes roll back into his head, slumping to the ground. Something within Dean burst, as he pushed off of the wall in an instant, grabbing the angel blade out of his waistband quickly.  
"How did-" Ruth started, fear in her eyes, but was soon cut off by the angel blade plunging into her chest. Dean didn't even look at her as he stabbed her, just limped towards the ghosts surrounding Cas, but they soon disappeared in terror. Usually, Dean would make sure that they were dead before he left the case, but the only thing he could focus on was Cas' limp, bleeding body. The door unlocked seconds earlier when Dean had killed the demon, and Sam stormed into the room.  
"Where did the ghosts-" Sam started but soon stopped when he saw Dean scoop up Cas' limp body into his arms. He looked at his good friend in disbelief, but then saw he was bleeding, not dead yet. He quickly grabbed Cas out of Dean's arm, noticing how he'd been shot. Dean limped to the car, grabbing two spare t shirts, one to wrap around his own leg as he grunted in pain, and wrapping the other around Cas' torso. He sat in the backseat with Cas, slowly placing his head on the thigh that had not been shot. He tossed the keys to Sam as tears ran down his cheeks. Sam sped down the highway, hoping to get to the bunker in time. Dean dropped his forehead down on to Cas', whispering a soft 'I love you' as tears clouded his sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was kind of a last minute thing to have the ghosts controlled by a demon which I don't even know if it's possible, but I made it somehow possible, so I hope you all enjoyed!


End file.
